![\"nevermind\"](\"http:\/\/www.othertime.com\/camera\/webpic6.jpg\" "\\"nevermind\\"")
<\/p>\nI have a vision of the composer that I want to be: the one who walks through his day hearing pieces dictated to him by the breeze.\u00c2\u00a0 The hours spent pouring over paper scores, adjusting phrasing, and reworking small passages for maximum effect.\u00c2\u00a0 I think that there would be nothing cooler than a bag full of notebooks and pens filled with my ideas.\u00c2\u00a0 I want that vision of Beethoven that the lesser history books share of a man walking through the woods trapping inspiration with a giant butterfly net.<\/p>\n
But that’s not me.<\/p>\n
I don’t plan.\u00c2\u00a0 There might be an idea that simmers for a few months, but I never write it down.\u00c2\u00a0 My notebooks read like the chicken scratches of someone in a desperate hurry to get nowhere.\u00c2\u00a0 Random bits of poetry, names of software packages, links, phone numbers, book titles.\u00c2\u00a0 Nothing that adds value to the time I spend actually composing.\u00c2\u00a0 Nothing that even leaves my bag when I’m in the studio.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
What really happens probably looks a lot more like what I would fantasize about than it actually is.\u00c2\u00a0 I find myself sitting in front of my laptop at the keyboard or some MIDI controllers or with a guitar wondering where I will begin.\u00c2\u00a0 I hit record and go.\u00c2\u00a0 Most of the time, something cool comes out (eventually).\u00c2\u00a0 Some nights are frustrating and nothing works.\u00c2\u00a0 But each night the process is the same: enter the studio, sit down, start.<\/p>\n
On paper this sounds pretty good.\u00c2\u00a0 It would appear that it’s like mowing the lawn.\u00c2\u00a0 Do it and it gets done.\u00c2\u00a0 I acknowledge that the fact that I create anything I value is pretty impressive, but I don’t do it with flair.\u00c2\u00a0 No accessories or wild systems.\u00c2\u00a0 You know, the cool stuff that you get to talk about with other people who do creative work.\u00c2\u00a0 There’s nothing here to write a book about.\u00c2\u00a0 And that’s the catch, maybe.<\/p>\n
When I was in school I often dreamed of creating a system for composition.\u00c2\u00a0 Some algorithm or process that I could follow to the hidden pot of golden compositions.\u00c2\u00a0 As I delved deeper in to serial music and, at the other end of the spectrum, the music of John Cage, I felt that a composer needed a process.\u00c2\u00a0 There had to be something to wrap up the product.\u00c2\u00a0 A protective blanket that explained or justified the outcome.\u00c2\u00a0 To some extent, that’s still there.\u00c2\u00a0 I would like to hear a passage in my work that is awkward and be able to point at it and say, “well, that’s just how the numbers turned out.”\u00c2\u00a0 And perhaps that’s what I’m reacting to now.<\/p>\n
I’ve mentioned that if you don’t know the rules you can’t really break them with authority.\u00c2\u00a0 The huge disappointment that hit me with the music of Cage when I was in graduate school was that anything goes.\u00c2\u00a0 4’33”<\/i> and pieces like it justified putting a start and end point to any sound and calling it music.\u00c2\u00a0 But that feels like something that is far too conceptual for the person I am today.\u00c2\u00a0 Almost foreign.\u00c2\u00a0 What I really want as a composer is to point to a piece of music and say “I did that.”\u00c2\u00a0 For better or worse, every sound that is made and when it is made and how it is made falls on me.\u00c2\u00a0 I want the responsibility for what I make.<\/p>\n
Being responsible for something implies a level of care and that takes me back to the beginning.\u00c2\u00a0 There is an overwhelming desire to prepare for my studio time.\u00c2\u00a0 When I sit down, I want to know what I’m going to do.\u00c2\u00a0 Instead, I simply start and hope for the best.\u00c2\u00a0 Something always follows, for good or ill, but it isn’t necessarily intended. Someday I’ll know why that’s so important or how it relates to my thesis that art is all about intent.<\/p>\n
Also of note, I’m tired of not posting new tunes. I have three tracks that are pretty darned good but I promised myself they’d be released as a unit with the nine that are left to follow. This means I’ll have to work double time to get something put up on the site. Why? Because I like to share and it feels dumb to post my updates to 1,000 social networking sites with no music attached. So something will show up next week. Stay tuned.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I have a vision of the composer that I want to be: the one who walks through his day hearing pieces dictated to him by the breeze.\u00c2\u00a0 The hours spent pouring over paper scores, adjusting phrasing, and reworking small passages …<\/p>\n